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Don’t push me.
I said don’t push me.
Oh, you wanna go, son?
I could 1-on-1 you easy.
Do you even lift?
Seriously, stop.
You’re hurting my feelings.
You’re adopted.
Fine. I’ll tell you a story.
It’s about you. I’m writing it live.
You probably just saw an arrow appear below.
Don’t scroll down. Just keep reading.
*Ahem*.. “I was like you once…
except I had friends. LOL.
And I thought I was invincible
Until one day, I started falling asleep.
Just tired. All day.
So I did what everyone else does…
I bought an energy drink.
“Try it”, they said…
So I shot-gunned it like in college.
And then guess what?
I crashed. Hard.
Like “no-energy-at-all” hard.
So then I did something crazy. Loco.
I invented my own energy.
All natural. Herbs. Leaves. Roots.
Full-on chemist, bro.
Uh.. You want some?
Down low… Keep it cool.
I’ll get you some for FREE.
You down?
Aiight, just do this real quick…
1. Scroll down.
2. Put in your email.
I’ll send you a sample of it.
5 pills. I called it “Extreme Energy” because…
It’s insane.
I’ll even cover shipping.
My people love it. I have non-button friends.
We hang outside of Facebook.
Can’t relate? I figured.
You know what to do…
Scroll. Email. FREE.
No more crash or jitters.
No more energy drinks.
No more excuses.
Okay, now scat. I’m done with you touchin’ me.
Scroll down.
I GUARANTEE I could take you.
You see that “push counter” at the top?
That’s how many friends you don’t have.
Let that sink in…
You going for the high score?
Gonna share that result on Facebook?
“I’m so cool… I clicked a button over and over…
and over and over…”
and over and over…”
You really think there’s some prize at the end?
The prize is below.
…but you’re just going to keep pushing me.
My mom told me not to pick fights.
But I am one push away…
… aaaaand…
You disgust me.
I think you need to get out more.
You need some energy, too.
You’re probably exhausted from all that clicking.
…and clicking.
This arrow is pointing to where you need to go.

I knew you would scroll after clicks.

All that’s left is to put in your email.

Then, check your inbox and you’ll have one seriously generous offer.

5 FREE days of our top-rated, 5-star energy supplement.

  • Long-lasting energy.
  • No crash or jitters.
  • 100% natural formula.

What if I don’t want energy?

Hey, that’s cool. If you don’t want the deal…

At least share this with “totally real friends” on Facebook.

I mean, you pushed me times. You owe me.